Does that stage fright that you get right before your first date sound familiar to you? You are afraid of saying a thousand stupid things, behaving like an idiot, not knowing what to talk about... thousands of fears in the face of a situation that we cannot handle, that are perfectly normal.
You will not be the first nor the last to panic and your head begins to think of millions of bizarre excuses to cancel your appointment… "You will not believe it! But dinner made me feel terrible and I just started vomiting”, “oh I'm sorry but I suddenly have a migraine…” Stop those impulses to shirk away, trust yourself, take the bull by the horns and I'm going to give you a series of tips to make everything go smoothly and look like the queen you are.
These tips are not going to be based on turning you into a person you are not, nor on trying to deceive him until he takes the bait... they will simply be tools that you can use when you get blocked, basic advice on topics to avoid because most Most of the time we get into undesirable gardens, “white” or safe topics for the first date…. and above all a couple of tips about what they hate men (Do you still not know what we women hate?) and you should avoid.
We always talk about generalities, in the end each person is different and not all advice works for everyone, but we are going to talk about the most common or usual things.
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What should you avoid?
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Talk about your ex for an hour giving birth to him or, what is worse, talking about him with the eyes of a slaughtered lamb, highlighting his multiple virtues; It is normal for the typical question to come up on a date: “How is it possible that you are still single?” or “How long have you been single?” These are just standard questions that, as such, we should answer honestly but briefly without focusing on our miseries or how wonderful your past relationship was. “I've been single for two years, so We tried but it just didn't work and I'm still looking for the person who makes me happy” would be a sufficient answer for a first date.
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Interrupt him when he is speaking; It always makes us feel bad when they do it to us, so we should apply the story to ourselves and if the other person talks, I listen.
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Criticize mercilessly to your friends, co-workers, your boss; It gives a very bad impression to “give birth” to staff when there is no trust. It doesn't mean that you have to pretend that you get along with everyone, but it's not very pleasant to listen to the gutting that we do to a person you don't even know in 2 seconds.
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count your traumas from childhood, the bad relationship you have with your parents, what you eat every day, the foods you use... in great detail; still! Don't bring out the heavy artillery so soon, girl! Leave something for the rest of the dates and don't burden him with details that are unnecessary and that you yourself wouldn't be interested in him telling you in so many details.
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Constantly talk about job; We hate it when they do it, so if we don't want to seem obsessed with life and also spend hours talking about something that he will surely not be interested in nor will he be able to follow you if he is not in the same sector as you, it is better to only talk about it as strictly necessary. in a very schematic way.
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Which is the best strategy?
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The first and fundamental thing is that you take out your smile to walk; There is no more fantastic gesture and he will surely appreciate it.
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Look directly in the eyes when you speak; It gives a feeling of security and that you are being sincere in what you say. There is nothing that produces more distrust than a person not being able to establish the view in his interlocutor. Let's not go overboard either, looking into the eyes when you speak is not the same as saying that you look at him with a crazy face without blinking until your eyes water... moderation applies to everything ;P
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Take care of yourself body language; The previous point has a lot to do with this. They are signals that we emit through our posture or gestures without being aware of it. For example, try not to cross your arms hugging yourself as it gives the impression that you are not comfortable on the date or even rejection. Don't touch your nose too much as it will look like you're lying.
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Give details about yourself naturally but keep some to yourself; Leaving him wanting to know more things about you is very positive and can give you a touch mysterious.
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Ask him questions and when he answers comments on his answers; indicates interest for what he is telling you and it is nice that the other person is empathetic with you.
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Comply strictly with the advice of “don't put everything on the table”; There is nothing that arouses more interest than being left with the honey on lips. That is, if you love him, don't tell him directly, just let him notice that you are comfortable, don't appear too excited or enthralled with him so that he doesn't think he has the upper hand, and don't overdo it with compliments towards him (they They love that you admire them, but they can't know right off the bat that you're crazy about them or you'll lose value in their eyes since they won't have to make an effort).
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Don't make yourself too available; If he tells you, hey, let's meet tomorrow?, make up a plan if you don't have one and propose another day, don't respond to the messages right away, let one or two hours pass even if he sees you online (even better if he sees you), or if you put up with it, don't even answer him until the next day, don't let him think that he snaps a finger and there you are. available…nothing about that, if you have plans DO NOT CHANGE THEM FOR HIM, make him make a little effort and adapt as we always tend to do.
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The rule of “the third date”; It may sound like outdated advice or even a bit sexist but in most cases it works. It's very simple, when you achieve something without effort, you don't value it and no one discusses this in the rest of the aspects of life (life projects, work, sports activities...), why won't it work with dating? On the first date nothing, if you can say goodbye with two kisses better (if he tries to give you a kiss and you feel like it, go ahead, but don't be encouraged), on the second date say goodbye with a slightly longer kiss and stop him there, he will I was left wanting more...and in the third, if you feel like it, go get him ????
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